Limited Time Only (Written by M. Sivaloganathan), produced by DeltaWaves

Ever feel like the world deserves more of you? Is the love you receive not enough? Hi, I’m Ahmen and I’m here to introduce InstaPresident, the ultimate 30 day guide on becoming the President of the United States of America.

In this exclusive offer, I’ll give you the secrets to running for the highest office in all of the land. You’ll learn the moves of the greats…

…like the Dodgeball… “The American people aren’t interested in my corrupt business dealings and womanizing. The American people want jobs.”

…the Whackmatician… “If this country stays on its current course, we will spend $2.8 trillion a year on Chinese made condoms that say ‘I love Iran’ on them.”

…the Pandersaurus Rex… “I love myself some guns. I love the hood, I have a bunch of friends who listen to rap. I’m basically jesus, because I’ve been singing the gospel all my life.”

…and even the Rinse and Repeat… “Troops. Liberty. Freedom. America. Troops. Liberty. Freedom. America.”

Now I know what you’re thinking…Ahmen, you must be nuts to give these secrets away! Well, you’re gonna love my nuts.

“Does it matter that I already have a job?”

No way. Why wouldn’t you campaign for a bigger and better job while other people are paying your salary so that you don’t have to work at all?

“Only 15% of my clients approve of the job I’m doing. Is that a problem?”

That’s even better! Because through InstaPresident, you’ll learn how to blame your problems on everyone else!

“Does it matter if I’m a Democrat or Republican?”

They’re the same thing! Just throw on that power suit and get ready for those photo ops!

With InstaPresident, the road to the White House has never been easier. In just 1-2- 3, you’ll be collecting those lobbyist checks in no time and kissing babies like you were born to do it. Just listen to what others have to say about InstaPresident:

“Well aright aright aright…I think we just found the g spot.”

“I’m not a politician, I’m Batman. And I don’t care.”

“Forget morals, you must, if president, you hope to become.”

The InstaPresident can be yours for just three payments of $29.95. And for a limited time only, if you order in the next 30 minutes you will get a free 12 piece cutlery set. That’s right – the InstaPresident and this beautiful 12 piece cutlery set will be all yours for just three payments of $29.95. Cue the presidential march, here’s how to order!

Call 1-888- F-YO- HOPE immediately. Again, that’s 1-888- F-YO- HOPE. Purchasing InstaPresident does not guarantee the presidency but it guarantees a life of wealth, media appearances, lobbying jobs, and freedom from ethical restraints. Offer not available for independents.